In search of the truth and how to grasp it
by bluellaby
Summary: H.G. Wells comes back to her truth, the Warehouse family, only to find it broken. Everything changed. Post Instinct. Set a few months after the affairs of 4x15.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: It's just something that came to me after watching last episode (and reading some conspiracy theories about Myka's illness on tumblr). I'm sure about one thing – you'll be cursing me after reading this.

I own nothing but my mistakes. I'll appreciate any suggestions and reflection.

She's done running away from her truth, and her truth is here, with these people – her warehouse family. _Then why is it still difficult to walk through that door? _Helena thinks, stopping a few meters from the entrance to Leena's B&B. She takes a deep breath, trying to slow down the rhythm of her heart. Then, she takes a steady step, and opens the door. She enters the house quietly; despite the nervousness, she knows she's doing the right thing.

Ever since seeing Myka again in Wisconsin, Helena couldn't stop thinking about her friend's words. The words that filled her mind - not like sneaky poison, but like blissful awareness. And though she knew very soon that her place, her heart were here – with the Warehouse, with its agents, with Myka – and she would eventually come back at some point; she needed time to summon what was left of the courage and self-confidence she possessed once upon a time, so she could face any greeting she would get.

It took her several months to show up here. And it seems she picked the wrong time, because it appears nobody's home.

"Hello?" casts Helena again, in slightly raised voice.

"Oh, hi, hello. How can I help you?" A stranger greets her, exiting the kitchen.

She's a beautiful woman, very elegant in her black blouse and well fitted dark trousers. Her warm smile is inviting, though Helena can't help but feel out of place. It's nothing she was expecting.

"I'm, uh…" _looking for any other resident of this building? _"I'm Helena Wells." She decides for introducing herself first, then asking about people she came to see.

"H.G. Wells" says the Asian woman, her voice holding just right amount of excitement. She smiles more broadly, extending her hand, but Helena is certain she saw worry in her eyes. "Abigail Cho, I'm the new owner of the B&B. I heard about your… true identity, but I must admit I didn't expect to have the chance to meet you in person."

Helena shakes her hand, wondering what exactly Ms. Cho might have heard about her, that caused this particular reaction.

"The pleasure is mine. Ms. Cho…"

"Abigail, I insist."

"Abigail," Helena reminds herself to smile, "I've been away for some time, and yes, I believe the team might be unsure about my return, but," she sighs, "I'm here. I'm back. Where is everybody?"

The Asian woman seems to consider something for a moment, never breaking eye contact. Helena feels exposed; she believes the other woman is not reflecting on her question.

Abigail's voice is gentle, when she speaks again, "I think I should warn you…"

Helena starts to feel worried at once, and the feeling only increases when the front door opens and three people, noticing her, come to a stop. The heavy silence hangs in the air for an endless second. _Where is Myka? And Artie? _

"Hello," says Helena in weak voice. She doesn't get vibes, like Pete, but what she is experiencing now can only be described as a very bad vibe.

"No." Pete shakes his head slowly. His voice is cold. "You don't get to casually show up here, like everything's fine."

"Pete," The handsome blonde man, Steve, says carefully. He stands, uncertain what to do with himself, between Pete, who glares at her, and Claudia, who looks anywhere but at her.

Helena notices, in one frightening moment, that all of them wear plain black clothes.

"Where is Myka?" she hears herself saying, not quite able to acknowledge just yet, what it might mean.

"She's gone," answers Pete emptily.

The woman's hand reaches to her locket, and tightens around it. She glances at Claudia, who now has her eyes closed. Helena's knees go weak, and she leans back against the wall. She barely registers next words spoken.

"Pete," Steve tries once more, "you should exp…"

"No! She doesn't deserve an explanation, Steve."

Pete passes them and goes upstairs. Helena breaths in and out, and blinks several times, feeling the incoming tears.

"Helena," Abigail tries to catch her attention; she says loud and clear, "Myka is not dead."

She looks at the woman, understanding nothing. _"What are you…? Pete just…"_

"No," Claudia speaks for the first time, "_she_ is not."

"What do you…? What does that mean?" Helena almost whines, but she couldn't care less about that right now. "Where is…?" her voice fades out, when she looks Claudia in the eye, and understands. _Artie. _"What happened?" she asks quietly.

Claudia walks up to the living room and sits down at the table. The three of them follow suit. Helena still worries about Myka, but she needs to know about Artie first. She waits. It's Steve, who comes to her aid.

"It all started a few months ago, when the Sweating Sickness was released… or maybe even before that, I don't know exactly." He looks at her softly before continuing, "Myka got ill."

Helena stirs in her seat, but doesn't interrupt.

"We didn't see it at first; we were dealing with Leena's death, Artie's astrolabe-problem, the Sickness…" he sighs. "Then everything started to settle, just a bit, and everyone was getting better – except for Myka."

She can't wait anymore. "When I saw her, four months ago, she seemed…" _Not 'fine', nothing about that meeting was fine. _"healthy. Tired, but…" her voice trails off. Helena feels guilty about missing any sign of Myka's illness.

Abigail turns to her. "She didn't take well that trip to Wisconsin."

"She was a mess," Claudia chimes in, meeting Helena's gaze. The elder woman looks away, taking a deep breath. "And we thought, 'Of course she's in a bad shape, she's been through a lot lately, and now H.G. had to add fuel to the flames. She'll get over it soon', we thought, 'and we'll forget about it.' But she only got worse."

"Day after day, she was weaker," Steve speaks up again, "and it became clear that she was really, physically sick." Helena unwittingly grips her locket once more. "Dr. Calder couldn't help her, neither could others. We looked for any artifact that could cause this, or any that could heal her, but she didn't want us to use anything and have to deal with a downside."

"She gave up," Helena's words are something between a statement and a question. She shakes her head unbelievingly, _Not Myka. She is a fighter. _

"She was making goodbyes," Claudia's voice breaks. Abigail puts a hand on her shoulder. The girl continues a moment later, "But one day she woke up, no longer sick. She looked better, not so pale and lifeless. A miracle, I thought," she adds bitterly.

"It was Artie," explains Steve. "He used Mary Mallon's Butcher Knife to transfer the disease from Myka to himself. He did this at night and hid the artifact afterwards, so we could not find it. We still haven't."

Helena gasps. "He sacrificed his life for Myka?"

"He said no one else would die at his watch."

Abigail's words are followed by silence.

Tears come to Helena's eyes and she sees the same goes for Claudia, who sits in her seat, pitched. Steve looks stock-still at one point on the table, and Abigail meets Helena's eyes, nodding slightly.

"He passed away two weeks ago," she answers unasked question.

Helena wraps her arms around herself. "I'm very sorry," she whispers. Her thoughts drift to every moment she shared with Artie, and even though more of them were unpleasant, even though she used to strongly dislike this man for a long time, now she's just truly sad. She's also unspeakably grateful to him for to his act toward Myka. _Myka._

**There will probably be a second part, because – I know, right!? – where the hell is Myka?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I still don't own the show, nor its characters. **

Helena stands by the window, watching the peaceful evening sky. She's staying the night in one of the guest rooms, since her old room from when she was an active agent has been moved to the warehouse long time ago. _Surely after Yellowstone. _She feels overwhelmed by guilt, thinking that a room was not the only thing her actions caused to disappear from here. She was the reason Myka left back then, and she was the same now. At least, that's what Pete believes.

Claudia explained it to her earlier, after Abigail and Steve left them to prepare a room for her and talk to Pete, respectively. Pete blames H.G. for Myka's surrender to the disease, knowing that the woman broke his best friend's heart. He says Myka cracked after Wisconsin – and that's why she gave up; she lost her will to fight – and that's why Artie did what he did; Artie died – and Myka left again, because she couldn't cope with everything that happened.

Helena moves from her spot by the window and crosses the room, but stops herself from opening the door. She fights the need to go to Myka's room, _Is it even still at the B&B?, _knowing that she's not welcome there – Pete probably guards it with his life from the evil he believes H.G. to be. _He would be right, _she thinks, _to count me as Myka's bane, the very cause for her misery and distress. _Helena herself does too, for months – or years now, actually.

But for the first time long since, she thinks she may be – wants to be something more than bloody 'bad news', as Pete called her once. Myka is gone, broken and presumably alone; and Helena needs to find her, put Myka out of her misery.

When she comes downstairs the next morning, Steve and Abigail are already in the living room, eating breakfast. They greet her and offer her tea, food and smiles; and she wishes everything was that nice and easy as it seems to be at this brief moment. She sits down at the table.

"Where are Claudia and Pete?" she asks, accepting a cup of tea from Steve. "Thank you."

"Pete's already at the warehouse," he answers, buttering a slice of bread, "and Claud's still asleep."

"No, she's not!" The girl says as she enters the room. She then yawns, earning a chuckle from Abigail. "Not entirely, anyway."

Claudia takes a sit between Steve and H.G. They eat in silence for a few moments, and even though it's rather comfortable silence, the air is filled with sadness and longing. Helena takes in the mourning clothes, subdued movements and Claudia's strained profile. She puts her hand on the girl's shoulder, slightly startling her.

"I'm sorry, darling," she says quickly, and adds with a weak smile, "it seems I still make you nervous."

Claudia smiles a little with a corner of her mouth. She pats the woman's hand with her own, but doesn't say anything. Helena catches the exchange of looks between Abigail and Steve, and isn't surprised when a couple of minutes later, they both start to gather themselves.

"I'm gonna go to my room, meditate for a bit before work," Steve nods his head with a gentle smile. "Ladies."

When he walks away Abigail turns to Helena. "Isn't he quite a gentleman?" She winks at Claudia after the girl looks at her with a grin. "I'll leave you too, ladies, I've got some things to do," she says and follows Steve upstairs.

"How thoughtful of them to give us a moment, right?" Claudia clasps her hands and shakes her head with a mock marvel.

Helena laughs, then smiles fondly at her companion. "I've missed you, Claudia."

"I've missed you too, H.G." the girl says and sighs. "I've been mad at you for a while, like Pete," she admits, "but I'm not anymore. I'm just glad to see you here, because too many people have left lately."

They get quiet, thinking about this.

"Did you try to find Myka?" asks Helena eventually.

"Yeah, we did. At first we thought she went back to Bering&Sons, but she was not there, obviously. Her parents haven't heard from her for a few months actually, and I think we might scare them, when we came looking for her," Claudia makes a face.

The older woman frowns. "And you weren't able to find her anywhere?"

"No." There's a gleam of hope in Claudia's eyes. "But maybe you can."

Helena looks at the girl dully. "If you couldn't, then what chances do I have?"

Claudia tips forward in her chair. She says, voice vibrant and strong, "H.G. tell me this; who would manage to find Myka, if not the person who knows her better than anyone?" she stands up, and give the woman a once-over. "Think about it. I need to go get ready for work."

Helena is left to her thoughts. Her mind takes her back to that moment in the forest, when she was saying goodbye to Myka. "_Who knows you better than anyone else…" _Piecing them together, she recollects other moments they shared, "_We're alike in many ways", _every subtle look on Myka's face,_ "I believed in you", _every quiver of her mouth, tremble of her voice, _"I knew you'd think that", _every squint of her eyes, every vibrant laugh, every passing touch. _"Solving puzzles."_

_Of course, _Helena narrows her eyes, _if Myka doesn't want to be found, even I can't find her. _She smiles, concluding, _But if she wanted me to do so, she'd gone somewhere I'd think of. _She stands up briskly and goes to gather her belongings, knowing she's got a long road before her. It's clear to Helena that she must retrace the path Myka and herself were endowed with by fate. _Wells and Bering, destined to meet at gunpoint and forced to say goodbye too many times. _Closing the door of the guest room, her sight drops onto door of the missing woman's room. _Bering and Wells, _Helena corrects herself in Myka's voice. She's intent on erasing the g-words; gunpoint and goodbye, from that sentence. Life is no fairytale with a happy ending; but they were both invited to an endless wonder, and they deserve to live wonderfully, together.

Passing by the kitchen she hears Abigail's voice. "Leaving already?"

She stops to look at the curious woman. Taking in the knowing gentle expression on her face, Helena once more ponders what the newest member of the warehouse family has heard about her.

"You don't sound surprised," she points out.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist, or a psychotherapist for that matter, to see you care deeply for Myka Bering. You've been asking about her since you arrived. I expected you'd want to search for her." Abigail smiles a half smile.

"Ms. Cho, do you happen to know something?" asks Helena, tilting her head.

The Asian woman shakes her head no. "I don't know where she is."

"No, but you do know something." H.G. sizes Abigail up. "You have met Myka, you've surely talked to her on more than one occasion, and you've certainly heard lots of things about our history. I just wonder," she sighs, "if Myka told you anything of importance."

"Helena," Abigail comes closer to her as if wanting to put a hand on her shoulder, but deciding against it, "I don't believe it's my place to say anything to you. Myka mostly kept to herself, she didn't want to open up to her friends, let alone me. But from what I got, her thoughts were always with you, as was her heart; and I believe that when you find her, everything can be fixed."

Realizing she was holding her breath, Helena exhales. "Thank you," she says in a low voice. She shifts toward the exit.

"Hey, H.G. wait up!"

Claudia emerges before the two women.

"Are you leaving to look for Myka? Do you know where she is?"

"I think I know where to look."

"Great!" The girl smiles at her with hope and Helena pulls her in for a hug. "Oh, yeah, good luck." Claudia withdraws a moment later, a smirk on her face. "Now go get her!"

**So, there will be part three. And Myka in person, because of course H.G. is going to find her, not that you'd think otherwise… **


End file.
